Scott Haworth’s novels are clever, fast paced, humorous and very enjoyable to read. Laugh out loud as he pokes fun at popular cultures cliches and makes you roll your eyes, but is a good way! Enjoy!
Dark Moonlighting
Scott Haworth
Genre: Humor & Satire | Satire | Fantasy
Nick Whittier, having been alive for six centuries, has had plenty of time to master three professions. In a typical week he works as a police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers, pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick’s three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his terrible secret.
Dark Moonlighting is the first book in the humorous series. It explores four of the biggest cliches in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliche. For example, the average human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must immediately urinate afterwards.
Click here to get this book for $0.99
(also available from Amazon. CO.UK DE FR IT ES CA )
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control
Scott Haworth
Genre: Mystery, Thriller & Suspense | Humor & Entertainment
Nick Whittier, the lovable vampire who has killed over 30,000 people, is back!He writes his latest tale from inside a shack in Montana where he is hiding out from the authorities who are hunting him.Who was really responsible for ruining his life in Starside, Illinois?Nick has uncovered the truth… but he is not going to discuss it until after he tells the story of how he killed Adolf Hitler.
Since he only feeds on terrible human beings, Nick often had a hard time finding victims over the years.World War Two was the worst military conflict in history, but for Nick it was a vacation.He happily gorges himself on the despicable people who are goose-stepping all over Europe.While the lesser Nazis are delicious, Nick’s ultimate goal is to drain the blood out of Hitler, the worst human being who has ever lived.He gets distracted from his hunt when he learns that the Nazis are developing a secret weapons program that could turn the tide of the war.Nick reluctantly decides to intervene to disrupt the program with the help of a young werewolf named Chuck Kruse.
Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control is the second book in the humorous Dark Moonlighting series.While book one highlighted Nick’s work as a doctor, lawyer and cop, book two tells about his career as a Nazi hunter.It explores war cliches and pokes fun at modern hits like Captain America and Band of Brothers in addition to classics like Hogan’s Heroes and Indiana Jones.It also examines more vampire cliches as Nick tells about his early years as a creature of the night in the 14th century.
Click here to get this book for $4.99
(also available from Amazon. CO.UK DE FR IT ES )
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °
Heaven 2.0
Scott Haworth
Genre: Metaphysical | Science Fiction
Having been born in the 28th century, Mike Kepler never believed in the existence of Heaven or Hell. The myths of the old faiths had been abandoned and replaced with the teachings of The Church many centuries earlier. The young physicist is shocked to learn that there is an afterlife when he is recruited by the Taipei Corporation. It was created by a team of scientists rather than God.
Mike’s job is to travel to the past and save people at the time of their deaths using advanced medical technology. The individuals are then brought back to the 28th century, judged on the sins they committed and sentenced to an eternity in the artificial Heaven or Hell. Mike quickly learns that the project is far less noble than it appears. He discovers that many of the people sentenced to eternal torment in Hell do not deserve their fate. When a hero he extracted from the past is convicted simply for being gay, Nick decides to fight back against the Taipei Corporation.
Click here to get this book for $4.99
(also available from Amazon. CO.UK DE FR IT ES CA )
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °
College Collage
Scott Haworth
Genre: Humor & Satire | Humor & Entertainment
Nick Bowman, like most college freshmen, is a terrible human being.He’s arrogant, argumentative and rude.He knows that he is smarter than all of the students and most of the professors at his school.Nick is not liked by many people despite the fact that his rants against higher education are usually accurate.
Sex, drugs and Karl Marx. Nick knows that is what the college experience is really all about. The Ohio State University is wasting his tuition money and all the other students seem to be too drunk to notice. At first the only thing that seems worse than the school’s bureaucracy are Nick’s two roommates. Drew Gaul would do much better academically if having sex and drinking were majors. Chris Dawson, a conservative Christian, appears to be Nick’s enemy in the culture war. Nick soon finds that his first impressions of his roommates are not entirely accurate. The three young men are inseparable by the end of their first quarter at OSU in the autumn of 2001. The fun times do not last for long. Nick’s roommates are on a collision course that threatens to end both a friendship and a life.
College Collage is humorous and aimed at the adult market.
Click here to get this book for $4.99
(also available from Amazon. CO.UK DE FR IT ES )
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °
Abraham Lincoln’s Lie
Scott Haworth
Genre: Humor & Satire | Humor & Entertainment
Abraham Lincoln once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” Senator Nick Bennett believes that it should not stand. Disgusted with partisan politics, Nick calls for America to be split up by political ideology. The idea of living in separate utopias is wildly popular with Americans. The blue states form the Progressive States of America and the red states create the United States of Ronald Reagan. The two new governments are free to address foreign relations, economic policies and social laws without the interference of an opposition party.
While the P.S.A. thrives, the U.S.R.R. is crippled by the inanity of its conservative ideology. A generation of its citizens receives a terrible education and loses the right to privacy. Many are killed either by an abhorrent health care system or the preemptive wars their government starts. The dreadful conditions inside the U.S.R.R. enrage the conservative citizens. Revolution seems inevitable, and the conflict threatens to engulf the liberal country as well.
Abraham Lincoln’s Lie contains political and social satire and is intended for a liberal audience. The novel takes a humorous look at how fiercely debated ideas could actually be implemented by the two ideologies.
Click here to get this book for $4.99
(also available from Amazon. CO.UK DE FR IT ES )
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °