Any book that mentions Nietzsche on the first page has got my attention! I imagined that this would be a twenty-year old girl’s angst-ridden romance but it soon became clear that it was far more than that. It is more a coming-of-age story where the main character, Helene (first person narration) is trying to find herself against a backdrop of a difficult childhood in a poor home, a poisonous mother, offensive stepfather and her own stuttering love life. The narrative is in the present tense but there is a lot of back story so the change of tense is useful to remind you where you are. In her climb in search of love, Helene is passive and lacking in self-confidence, so becomes a bit of a door mat to the object of her affections, Matthew, as she tries to fill the emotional vacuum in her life. He, in complete contrast, is more of an alpha male but fickle and emotionally paralysed; a man who knows what he wants, gets it, then moves on. With her journal; her soul. He’s a user. She lets him get away with it. She has no choice. But she still regards him as her muse in her life’s ambition to be an artist and, strangely, it’s his very absence that inspires her to seek her personal freedom.
You realise from the first few paragraphs that the writing is imaginative and original. For a debut novel, it is outstanding and I am not surprised that this has been picked up by a publishing house. In addition, the presentation is first class; I didn’t spot a single formatting, punctuation or spelling error and how many ebooks can you say that of? The overall style is close to being literary fiction and, as such, the way it hops between the present and the past is fine as the reader follows the stream-of-consciousness. I liked the use of colour metaphors when she becomes an artist. The fact that the plot meanders doesn’t matter, I think, because the main character’s internal world is so well treated. This is not a plot-based story and will not appeal to readers who expect that. It’s a subtle unfolding with a gentle and satisfying story arc.
Overall, a well-crafted book that will appeal to people who relish a thoughtful read.
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