I stumbled upon Running from Solace by author Nakia R. Laushaul one evening as I was browsing Amazon for possible new releases by one of my favorite authors, J. California Cooper. There was something about the image of the child standing on the tracks with luggage clutched tightly in hand that spoke to me. So I hit the Buy It Now button and started to read....
Ladies and Gentlemen, there are no words adequate enough to describe the emotional journey this book took me on. I literally had a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat as I read about the abuse the child Naomi suffered at the hands of the woman who brought her into an already cruel world. It wasn't just physical abuse but verbal and emotional abuse as well that shaped this once loving and forgiving child into an emotionally distant and distrusting adult. I saw so much of myself and others I knew in the woman Naomi.
The overall theme of this book is that "Hurting people hurt people". The pain suffered by one is passed on from one generation to the next and true peace and healing can only take place once you surrender to the Divine. There is no running from your problems or Him. Nakia R. Laushaul brings this truth to the light in such an amazing way that at times I forgot I was reading fiction and felt instead I was a voyeur taking an all-too real look into the private lives of all-too real characters. Told in the first-person from several different characters' perspectives, Running From Solace contains scenes that will haunt you long after you've finished reading:
"Wait, Mama," I said, coming back to my senses. She was all I had left. "I can't live without my children. Tell me what to do. Help me. Please Mama." The tears came then.
My mother stopped and turned around to face me. She came back into the kitchen grabbed me in a tight embrace and in it, I melted. She asked sweetly, "You don't think you can live without your kids, baby?"
"No, Mama. I can't." I cried, holding on to her with all that was within me. I couldn't remember the last time my mother touched me with so much warmth and it felt good. I never wanted to let her go.
She released me and turned all four burners to the ON position on the stove till they hissed and ticked loudly. Gas quickly permeated through the air and burned inside my nose. She opened the oven, and on her way out of the front door, she shouted one word over her shoulder and she was gone: "Don't!"
Ladies and Gentlemen, when I tell you that my jaw literally dropped - as did my stomach - when I read this scene, it is not an exaggeration. I was SICK! I would like to thank Nakia R. Laushaul for creating the most vile, the most sickening 'mother' I've come across in fiction - period. It disgusts me to even call her a mother. I don't like to use the word 'hate' yet I HATED HER!!! This woman was just all kinds of - uuuggh!!! I wanted a tree to fall out of the sky and land on her!!!
Woosah. *rubbing ear lobs frantically
I get angry just thinking about her. And that is why this book is so awesome because there is not one character you won't find yourself affected by in some way - small or large. I felt emotionally invested in these characters - especially Naomi. When I say I felt her pain - I felt it! I identified with her desire to want to be close to the husband who loved her with a love rarely found outside of fiction or the Divine, to want to be 'normal' and to want to share with him the shame of why she was the way she was - but she was so broken inside that she couldn't find the words and didn't want to risk his rejection. I felt her frustration as she to survived the trauma of her childhood but never really lived. I felt the relief of a burden lifted from the very depths of her shattered soul as she finally surrendered it all to the power of unconditional love and acceptance. For any woman who has suffered betrayal, rejection and abuse - you know that there is a certain strength and courage to be found in surrender. For this reason, I found Naomi to be a true hero.
Running from Solace has earned a spot in my top ten favorite reads. In spite of the graphic language and scenes of violence, I firmly believe it should be required reading for high school students. Seriously. I highly recommend this emotionally-charged and powerful novel to anyone capable of reading.
It's. Just. That. Good.
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