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Jr. Robert K. Swisher

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A Bucket Full Of Lies (Book 1) (Bob Roosevelt Mystery Series) Kindle Edition

by Robert Swisher (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

3.8 123 ratings

Book 1 of 4: Bob Roosevelt Mystery Series Book 1

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BOOK 1
A BUCKET FULL OF LIES
for the tattooed lady on the corner of 4th – you’re right honey – ain’t nothin’ good about humidity except corn

Sam was standing by his car door smiling proudly as I pulled in behind him. He hadn’t bothered to open the triple garage. I couldn’t see the neighbors’ house for the trees but I could hear the sound of a running river and the neighing of horses. I shut off the engine and got out. “You looking for a gardener?” I asked, flabbergasted.
“No, he isn’t, but he had better be looking for an undertaker,” my Guardian Angel yelled in a way I knew he was not kidding. I darted toward Sam, hoping to knock him to the ground, but before I reached him a shot belched from the trees. The bullet entered the right side of Sam’s head. For a brief moment there was a look of bewilderment in his eyes and then acceptance, as if getting killed was a relief. As Sam’s body slid down the side of the new Lincoln, leaving a trail of blood on the shiny white paint, I knew I should have listened to my Guardian Angel.
“I told you, I told you,” my Guardian Angel screeched.
There was another shot. The bullet sang a death song as it buzzed over my head. I sprawled on top of Sam, which was about as smart as trying to stop a runaway train with my hand, since Sam was as dead as dead can be.
After a few moments and no more shots, I quickly checked Sam’s pants pockets and took a key from his front right pocket. In his shirt pocket was a folded up piece of paper. I stuffed both the key and the piece of paper into my Levi’s pocket.
The next thing I knew, a very attractive lady was standing over Sam and screaming. “Oh Sam!! Why? Why?”
I grabbed her hand and yanked her to the ground. I didn’t know who she was or how she got here so fast, but in the instant it took to yank her down I noticed the fine female form molded into one of the briefest string bikini’s I had ever seen. People will tell you being close to death can heighten your senses. That may or may not be true, but the lady was gorgeous and the bikini she was wearing wasn’t made to leave many tan lines. The lady started bawling. There was nothing I could do to help the woman. I am a stranger to women. I am not a stranger to death. I learned one thing in the war, there is no guarantee about this life thing – the reaper takes you when he wants.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"What a great read. This author effortlessly blends humor with mystery and suspense. The story takes off early and never lets up. It has many twists and turns, including a delightfully unexpected ending. I love the main character and his rather unusual sidekick! I will be looking to read more of the Bob Roosevelt Mystery Series!" by James Chalk

From the Author

There are four books in the Bob Roosevelt Mystery Series. Roosevelt is trying to find love and the center to his life but he is saddled by a Guardian Angel that was a 14th century not so good Monk. How I got the idea for these books I blame on German beer. But, if you like to laugh, know that life is absurd, take a look - it's cheap fun with a few things that might even make you think.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B006THX6PY
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Open Talon Press; 1st edition (January 3, 2012)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 3, 2012
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 765 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 250 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #1,587,746 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #13,161 in Humor (Kindle Store)
- #54,305 in Humor (Books)
- #597,516 in Literature & Fiction (Kindle Store)

Customer Reviews:
3.8 123 ratings

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Jr. Robert K. Swisher

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Robert K. Swisher Jr. has been writing contemporary fiction since 1967. During this time 14 of his novels were published by traditional publishers ranging from young adult, contemporary, to historical fiction. Seven of these books are still in print of which three have been converted to e-books. He has received reviews from Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, Best Sellers, Midwest Book Review and many others. Over the past several years he has gone indie and released a highly acclaimed four book comedy mystery series, Bob Roosevelt and Pea Brain his snide guardian angel - A BUCKET FULL OF LIES, TROUT FISHING FOR BODIES, DOUBLE BOGEY MURDER, and, FROGS DON'T CROAK IN THE WINTER. A funny golf book - CONVERSATIONS WITH THE GOLF GOD. An off center love story - HOW BRIDGE MCCOY LEARNED TO SAY I LOVE YOU. Two literary novels - HOPE and A CIRCLE AROUND FOREVER. A highly acclaimed reader participation book - VENT, and an off the wall writing book based on a course he taught that goes against the grain of what most creative writing instructors hold as dear - GRAMMAR NAZIS ARE NOT ALWAYS, RITE, RIGHT, WRITE. Swisher's novels can be found on Amazon, your local bookstore, Author Central, Facebook, and Goodreads. He can be reached at swisherbooks.com.

At the moment he is working on a sequel to Vent and two novels are being edited.

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3.8 out of 5

123 global ratings

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Ian

Comedic Mystery with Fun, Quirky, Memorable Characters

Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2015

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The comedic mystery is one of my favorite sub-genres, and A Bucket Full of Lies is an excellent example of one. The mystery genre takes the cake for the most over-written of all genres. I don’t envy anyone who tries to compete in this marketplace. But I do think it’s wise authors find a way to distinguish themselves. Doing like attorneys did some decades back when there were too many lawyers and fleeing into a sub-genre is always an excellent choice. The author’s done that approach one better though and fled into a sub-sub-genre. Not only is this a comedic mystery, it’s a paranormal comedic mystery. The hero, a detective, has a guardian angel for a sidekick, only he can see and hear and communicate with. And he’s no ordinary angel. Far from it; he may have more character flaws than the hero, which is saying a lot, and his cantankerous, lecherous, sinful nature probably isn’t that of your typical monk’s either, but what a character! Between the down on his luck detective who solved his last case mostly by luck, and little by actual detective work, and his off-color sidekick, we have an excellent motor propelling this story along. Their dynamic and the dark humor that comes of it is priceless.

Speaking of our hero getting by on luck, I should mention that it’s mostly bad luck. Hence, he quickly gets in over his head in a complex crime situation that will likely get him killed before he can untangle himself from the various story threads that connect the nefarious characters. As if that weren’t bad enough, he’s got a questionable past that’s just begging to catch up with him and when it does, has a grave pre-dug for him. Last but not least, he’s immune to good advice and common sense; his big heart just keeps getting in the way, making him a sucker for saving people who can’t be saved. Maybe it’s his own soul he’s trying to rescue in so doing. I found I was taking to the hero like a friend I wanted to have over for dinner, who, with any luck, might just stay the month.

Fair warning, you might want to get in shape for this story by doing some stomach crunches in preparation for the endless parade of snarky one liners that will have you doubling over. Not every one of the jokes lands; some of the witticisms feel a bit forced. But enough wry quips connect with a knockout wallop.

If you’re no more partial to this kind of mystery than any other, this might read as a 4 star book to you, that is to say, still highly entertaining. But considering my love for both the paranormal and a good comedic mystery, the author pretty much hit the bull’s eye with me and my reading tastes, thus the five star rating.

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Peg’s reviews

A mystery with twists and quirky humor

Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2015

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A Bucket Full of lies is a humorous and unique mystery. The story starts off with PI, Bob Roosevelt, making a fast retreat from Florida, to escape a jealous chief of police. While passing through Des Moines, Iowa, Roosevelt bumps into an old friend, Sam, at a local greasy diner. Sam is in trouble and asks Roosevelt to follow him home. Roosevelt never gets to hear about Sam’s problems, because Sam is murdered in his driveway.

Roosevelt stayed at Sam’s house to comfort his friend’s second wife, Lisa. While Roosevelt was there, Lisa told him that Sam’s kids were kidnapped. Roosevelt’s guardian angel, a 14th-century monk, warned Roosevelt to get out of Iowa while he still could. Roosevelt didn’t heed his angel’s warning, though, because he felt compelled to find his friend’s murderer and kids. However, clues were not adding up for Roosevelt. He was getting confused because both of Sam’s women, Lisa and Sam’s ex-wife, Sheila, were lying to him and trying to seduce him. Roosevelt’s monk was rarely any help. The angel was more interested in sex than working on solving the murder and kidnapping case. The only one who seemed to have any morals at all was Roosevelt. The story is crafted with a lot of twists and quirky humor.

Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2015

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An editor is a good thing. Without one, the mistakes in spelling and punctuation start to overwhelm. Had I seen "Browne's" again I might have lost it entirely, and that is not to mention the long list of similar errors. The author manages some very funny lines although many are painfully forced. The Guardian Angel is just silly and adds nothing whatsoever to the story; I hope when there is an editor, he will be sent back to heaven. I was hoping for a decent ending but no, it's just a convenient way to get out of the story, as if even the author was tired of it by that point.

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Jada Ryker

Boot Scoot Into a Bucket Full of Lies

Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2013

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A Bucket Full of Lies, by Robert Swisher, is a unique murder mystery. The book starts with this paragraph:

"You had better boot scoot out of here, Roosevelt," my Guardian Angel warned me trying to look like he really cared. "If you don't, you are going to get trapped right in the middle of a murder, a multiple kidnapping, a gun and heroin smuggling ring, and to top it off everyone you meet will only lie to you. And if that is not enough, you are going to get hurt, maybe even killed."

Bob’s Guardian Angel is a fourteenth century monk with a shaved head, sixties, and as round as he is tall. When Wright lived as a monk, he sold forgiveness and told women relations with him were a blessing from God. Although Wright has been a moderately successful Guardian Angel since Bob acquired him in Vietnam, he’s a pain in the behind.

Bob is surprised when he’s approached by Sam Wrench. Although Bob has not seen Sam in forty-five years, Sam seems to have orchestrated the meeting. Sam knows Bob is a private investigator, and Sam’s in trouble. When Bob agrees to help him and Sam is gunned down a short time later, it appears the Guardian Angel may be right. And when Lisa, Sam’s widow, contradicts Sam’s statement about the children and distracts Bob from asking pointed questions with a gin and tonic, Bob should have known things were going downhill.

A Bucket Full of Lies is an excellent mystery. The characters are quirky and believable. The descriptions are wonderfully on target. The story moves at a brisk pace. Mr. Swisher also does an excellent job offering cross sections of life in the nineteen sixties, when “frat boys were famous for beating hippies nearly to death and cutting their hair.” (Hint: the frat boys who tangled with Bob didn’t cut his hair. As Bob says: “War has a way of reminding one that peace is all well and good but all people have to embrace the idea before you throw your club away. Pity the world.”)

This book is a fine treasure of humor, pop culture, and mystery. I highly recommend it.

10 people found this helpful

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Joey

A detective story with a twist!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 30, 2014

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A BUCKET FULL OF LIES is an intriguing tale of a man with a guardian angel who no one else can see or hear. Roosevelt is a private detective despite being old enough to be almost retired. He doesn't seem to be very good at his job, but certainly grips you as the reader into coming along with him and trying to solve the cases presented in the book. You could call him a male version of Kinsey Milhone in Sue Grafton's alphabet series, as he is presented in the same witty manner with his guardian angel as a sidekick.

The story is full of twists and turns that sometimes it is hard to tell what is a truth and what is a lie, and then you get close to the end when all should be explained, but you're even more confused. Swisher delivers punch after punch of great dialogue and mystery being sure to allow you to follow everything that has happened and spot the clues once you've read the whole thing.

Overall it leaves you feeling like you've been alongside Roosevelt and his guardian the whole time, as a silent third partner. Highly recommended to anyone who loves a good mystery!

bookcollecter

A great mystery with a twist of that little something extra

Reviewed in Spain on February 27, 2014

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Roosevelt seems like a lost soul until he arrives in a diner, which in in turn leads to a whole bucket full of lies, with the murder of Sam, an old friend, from the past, women who lead him on, and a guardian angel monk, who loves to lend quirky opinions at every turn.

The Character Roosevelt was honourable but was also pulled into a story involving kidnapping, drugs and mystery that he could have done without. This story flows with good dialogue and believable co-characters. It is written with an engaging tone that kept me involved. The guardian angel talking all the way through is an added bonus to the story and he is portrayed as a partner, who advises, warns, and gives opinions that opens the detective's eyes to some new insights into the case. He is definitely not your typical angel!

It's also a very good mystery that develops well on each page. The characters' way of life in this town was interesting and gave the book a whole bucket of personality. It was a great read with a really likeable protagonist. I enjoyed it from start to finish and hope this author carries on with his very unique writing style that lets the reader dive right into the story and remain there.

Tom

Highly entertaining

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 5, 2018

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From the outset the reader is treated to a good mystery, laced with the protagonist’s humorous if fatalistic outlook. Bob Roosevelt, the lead character is likable; well-drawn as a determined investigator with a strong sense of justice.
The story is narrated in first-person point of view and reads like the script of a Philip Marlow movie. At first glance, I thought there was overuse of similes, but within a few scenes, it became clear that they are the vehicle for the high level of humour.
There is a colourful cast of characters and all are well-developed. The plot and sub-plots are skilfully woven to create an engaging mystery and suspense. Bob doesn’t waltz in and solve all the issues with a few clues, and his job is further complicated by the lies implicit in the title.
I found this to be a highly entertaining story, and I’ll be reading more from the author.

Maria

Unique & quirky crime mystery.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 11, 2014

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Quirky mayhem! I loved the central character, Roosevelt, an ex-hippy and ex-soldier making a living as a Private Investigator. He was full of interesting contradictions, still trying to "find himself" and the love of a good woman in his 60s. He is cynical yet trusting, jaded yet hopeful, sharp and witty yet a sucker for a pretty face and a hard luck story, hardened and disappointed yet moralistic and loyal. I'd love this guy as a friend. His life is also complicated by a guardian angel who happens to be a 14th century monk who is sexually repressed.
Mixed with a fast paced plot, a bucket full of lies and a realistic setting this is a real treat of a read.
I recommend this to anyone who enjoys a good mystery and I'm looking forward to reading the later books in the series.

One person found this helpful

R. Coulson

Nice twists, great characters: a thoroughly entertaining read.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 15, 2015

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When Roosevelt is contacted by Sam, an old hippie friend, he and his guardian angel are dumped into the middle of a guns and drug-running ring. Sam is murdered, his kids kidnapped and everyone seems to be lying through their teeth. Can Roosevelt’s guardian angel keep him alive long enough to solve the crime and rescue the children?
The author’s easy style and quirky humour grabbed me from page one, and kept me interested and guessing until the end. Nice twists, great characters: a thoroughly entertaining read.

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