I stayed up too late watching a show I didn’t really enjoy, but I just didn’t want to have to wake up. My logic at the time seem sound. Now, I am half asleep and unable to do simple tasks like wake up and make coffee. This is why caterpillars don’t wear top hats.

Jackrabbit Junction Jitters (Jackrabbit Junction Humorous Mystery Series #2)
Ann Charles
4.6 Stars (162 Reviews)
Genre: Romance | Mystery, Thriller & Suspense

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Claire is back, raining trouble throughout Jackrabbit Junction in another fast-paced, fun, sexy suspense.

A burglar is on the loose! Claire wastes no time forming suspicions, but she’s sidetracked by a treasure hunt.

Even with help from her boyfriend, Claire is swirling in a whirlpool of chaos. Throw her crazy sister into the torrent, along with an angst-ridden teen, a jittery bride, and some randy old men, and Claire struggles just to keep a toehold in the current.

Then her mother arrives …

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The Force is Middling in this One: And Other Ruminations from the Outskirts of the Empire
Robert Kroese
4.7 Stars (50 Reviews)
Genre: Humor & Entertainment

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What happens to a kid who isn’t quite good enough with the force to be a Jedi? What is it like to live in the worst city in the United States? If we aren’t allowed to test shampoo on monkeys, how will we ever know if our monkeys are clean?

The answers to these and other questions can be found in The Force is Middling in this One, a raucous romp through the mind of author, software developer and gopher exterminator Robert Kroese.

Laboriously compiled from three years of blog posts from MattressPolice.com, this collection covers topics as varied as the Incredible Hulk, perpetual motion machines and Satanism, and is sure to keep you running back to the bathroom for more. In fact, we’ve even included (on page 187*) a laminated card that reads: PLEASE EXCUSE MY FREQUENT TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM AS I HAVE A SEVERE BOWEL AND/OR URINARY TRACT CONDITION. This will allow you to read in peace without having to face embarrassing questions from your family and friends.

*If your card is missing, please check all of the other pages. If you still don’t find it, address the proprietor of the book shop sternly as follows: “SIR OR MADAM: I AM SHOCKED TO FIND THAT THIS BOOK CONTAINS NO CARD INDICATING THAT I HAVE A SEVERE BOWEL AND/OR URINARY TRACT CONDITION. WHAT, SIR OR MADAM, ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, EXACTLY?” If you are still unable to get satisfaction, please purchase a copy of the author’s critically acclaimed, bestselling novel Mercury Falls. The card is on page 119. WE PROMISE.

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Everyone Burns
John Dolan
4.9 Stars (23 Reviews)
Genre: Mystery, Thriller & Suspense

FREE for a limited time

It is January 2005 and the charred remains of two Europeans have been discovered on the Thai island of Samui.

Local Police Chief Charoenkul, sidelined by his superiors, enlists the reluctant David Braddock, a burnt-out private detective, to assist in an ‘unofficial’ investigation.

But Braddock has problems of his own, including an affair with the same Police Chief’s wife …

Peppered with irreverent humour and some pithy comments on everyday life in the Land of Smiles, Everyone Burns is much more than a crime novel. It is also a carefully-crafted psychological study of an anti-hero for our time.

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The Contessa’s Vendetta – Historical Suspense Thriller
Mirella Sichirollo Patzer
3.8 Stars (43 Reviews)
Genre: Historical Fiction | Mystery, Thriller & Suspense

FREE for a limited time

When faced with the ultimate betrayal, a murderous vendetta is one woman’s only solution.

A deadly plague is raging, killing thousands in 17th century Vicenza Italy. Carlotta Mancini struggles to protect her family and servants, but despite her precautions, she is the one who falls prey to the deadly illness. Her body is tossed into a coffin and swiftly buried in the underground, dank confines of her family’s vault. But Carlotta is not dead; she is merely unconscious because of the illness. She returns home to her beloved husband, her best friend, and her darling daughter. But before she reveals herself to her loved ones, she learns of an endless series of lies, deceits, and betrayal. As she unravels the labyrinth of shocking treachery, her wrath breathes life to an overwhelming need for vengeance. Slowly, meticulously, she launches her diabolocial vendetta.

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The Escape of Princess Madeline
Kirstin Pulioff
4.8 Stars (33 Reviews)
Genre: Contemporary Fiction | Fantasy | Teens

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The Kingdom of Soron is known for many things, its rolling landscape, haunting history, fiery sunsets, and its beautiful princess. Princess Madeline woke on her sixteenth birthday to realize that her future had been planned out, a life full of privilege, royalty, and boredom… a life with a husband and knight champion that she did not choose. Using her charm, strength and stubbornness, she defies the King at every turn, determined to keep her freedom on her terms.

Freedom quickly turns to disaster as she finds herself seized by a group of wandering bandits. With the kingdom in turmoil over her capture; her Knight Champion eager to prove himself, a group of dedicated suitors determined to win her hand, and a group of exiled wizards join forces in the hunt to rescue her. Follow Princess Madeline in this adventure full of twists and turns as she tries to find her freedom and answers to her questions about life and love.

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Hal Junior 1: The Secret Signal
Simon Haynes
4.3 Stars (13 Reviews)
Genre: Children’s eBooks

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NOTE: there’s a review below (the only 1-star) where the reader has actually loaded and read a different title halfway through the book. Hal Junior DOES NOT contain adult language, OR any of the passages quoted in the review.

Hal Junior lives aboard a futuristic space station. His mum is chief scientist, his dad cleans air filters and his best mate is Stephen ‘Stinky’ Binn. As for Hal … he’s a bit of a trouble magnet. He means well, but his wild schemes and crazy plans never turn out as expected!

Hal Junior: The Secret Signal features mayhem and laughs, daring and intrigue … plus a home-made space cannon!

The Secret Signal will appeal to readers with a sense of humour and a taste for adventure.

No swearing and no adult concepts … just good clean fun.

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Piece of Cake Paleo – The Effortless Paleo Baking Bible
Jack Roberts
4.6 Stars (10 Reviews)
Genre: Cookbooks, Food & Wine

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Piece of Cake Paleo is THE cookbook for baking while following the Paleo diet. Are you finding it painfully difficult to keep yourself from reaching for the cakes and cookies? Clueless and overwhelmed when asked to make “real” food that’s actually tasty? Humiliated because nobody wants to eat what you make? Sick and tired of always feeling hungry? Dreading the “tasty treats” restrictions placed on you? Loath the world as you watch them indulge in tasty desserts? Ever feel helpless and misunderstood when trying to justify your “boring” cooking concoctions? Ever feel like this so-called healthy eating paleo lifestyle is actually making your life miserable?

Well now we have the Effortless Paleo Baking Bible!

The purpose of this book is to:

  • – Provide genuine, easy, quick, and delicious recipes for people who don’t have a lot of time to be in the kitchen
  • – Make the Paleo diet easy for ANYONE to follow by providing substitutes for your favourite foods (think Paleo burgers, cookies, cakes, and more)
  • – Provide amazing dessert recipes so you’ll never have to kick yourself after answering to your sweet tooth again
  • – Provide recipes for any occasion.Whether you’re holding a dinner party for you and your friends, or making sandwiches for your kid’s lunch.
  • And since you’re following the Paleo diet, you’ll also experience:
  • – Weight loss
  • – Increased energy levels
  • – Better sleeps at night
  • – Less depression and anxiety
  • – A healthier body and a healthier mind

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